"A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it."- G.K. Chesterton
Before I became a mother, I never knew that "mothering" bore just about as much controversy as politics, religion and sex.....combined.
natural child-birth vs. medicated delivery
breast vs. bottle
co-sleeping vs. crib sleeping
cloth diapering vs. disposable diapering
cry it out vs. non-cry it out (for lack of a better term)
home-made baby food vs. store-bought baby food
a baby born inside/outside of marriage
The list goes on.....
I have friends on both sides of the spectrum, and as a second-time mom, have been on both "sides" myself. I prepared for and acheived a natural birth with Owen, free of any pain medication. Was it hard? Heck yeah! It was super intense and at times I really thought I couldn't do it. But I did. And it was so worth it! I breastfed Jack for 16 months and plan to do the same with Owen, if not longer. Is it hard? Of course! I've had to endure engorged ta-tas, mastitis, clogged ducts, the uncomfortable-ness of nursing in public around people who are offended by the fact that I am feeding my child (which blows my mind!), and teething (need I say more?). I also cloth diaper Owen. Is it difficult? Honestly...sometimes it is. Sometimes I am behind on laundry and find myself reaching for my stash of 'sposies that are supposed to be reserved for the Y and the church nursery, cause it's easier. But I choose to use cloth diapers because for us....it's the right thing. I can't throw away 10 disposable diapers a day and feel okay about that.
However, I've also: had an epidural (with Jack), tried to give formula (neither boy will touch it with a ten-foot pole), used disposable diapers and store-bought babyfood, let each boy sleep in the bed with us, and made them sleep in their own beds (even when they didn't want to sometimes), let Owen cry it out, but I've also rushed to his side at the slightest whimper, had a baby out of wed-lock and one conceived in a happy, healthy marriage.
If I had a dollar for everytime someone has asked me "do you ever think about what your life would be like had you not become pregnant at 18", I would truly be a wealthy woman. But, to answer that honestly..... No..... I try not to let my mind go there. ever. I'm afraid to see what and who I would have become if I had chosen not to keep my baby. My boys are my life, my world....they are everything to me. I can say with 100% conviction that I'm a better person because of Jack and Owen. I've had friends (some close and some not so close) look down their noses at me because I've never had a "career" or because I can't drop everything and go out partying whenever I feel like it, or because they have big, exciting lives while I'm just "mom". It hurts. It sucks. But would I change anything? Nope. I am eternally grateful to have what I've been given.
My motivation behind this post, and my dedication of this post is to: "Momsters".... those moms who insult, discourage, innappropriately question or put down the mothering practices of others, simply because that isn't how they do it. I have a dear friend who is experiencing this right now, and let me tell you - I don't think I've ever seen a more nurturing, thoughtful, caring mother than her. So, I don't understand it and it makes me mad that people put her down for what she does.
So....Momsters - this one's for you. Feed your babies pork-rinds, be doped up morphine, codeine, whatever, when you have your baby "delivered", diaper them with cashmere or newspaper....I don't care. But for those of us who put our heart and soul into mothering our babies....leave us alone!
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