Let me get this off my chest.....

Literally. Owen and I are on day 4 of operation "no more boobies". So far, he's doing much better than me, even though he's still asking for them and sticking his hand down my shirt constantly! It has been much harder (physically, emotionally, psychologically) than I expected or remembered it to be. I'll be honest, I love breastfeeding! I know that totally freaks some people out, but I think it is one of the most healthy, special, intimate and rewarding things a woman can ever do. Fortunately, I've never had any real issues and both of my boys loved it too. It just feels like such a natural extension of your pregnancy, to still have your baby attached to you in some way. I really don't know why I'm blogging about this (sorry if it offends anyone, that is certainly not my intention) but the physical pain I'm in, coupled with the knowledge that it could very easily be relieved by nursing my precious baby boy, which I long to do (even though I am 100% committed to weaning him now) is like a constant reminder. Plus, I guess my hormones are all out of whack because I just feel like a mess right now. I feel like my baby is no longer a baby and it makes me teary eyed to acknowledge that those close moments we had when I was breastfeeding him are over. I know there are definitely other ways to bond with your children, but I just feel like I need to validate our sense of loss somewhat, cause I think it's kind of a big deal. So, I guess that's why I'm blogging about it - to "get it off my chest" (haha) and onto paper so to speak (who knew blogging could be as therapeutic as writing?) Thanks for letting me rant, or vent, moan, groan, etc. Hopefully the 'mones will be back to normal soon and I can stop being such a sappy, weepy emotional mess.

good-bye old friend